You never forget your first 4000 footer.

I’ve been dreaming of the White Mountains ever since vacationing in New Hampshire as a kid with my bratty younger sister next to me. We drove through the Notches and looked up in wonder at the Old Man in the Mountain from the backseat of our beast of a 1980 Bonneville (which I also happened to learn to drive in!). Well, that look of wonder magically turned to longing and wanderlust in my adult years and has brought me to who I am today chasing summits…and pursuing each of the 67 New England 4000 footers.

This last month marked the anniversary date of the first time I climbed Katahdin…my first official 4000 footer. Go big or go home, right? Well, I guess I went straight for the gold with all the gusto for that first time. Let’s do Katahdin, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Well, let me be completely frank and honest…I never, ever, ever, EVER wanted to climb that mountain (or any like it) again after that initial time. I cried. Had a down and out righteous meltdown. I didn’t believe in myself for a long time after and didn’t know what my body could do with just a little bit of conditioning and strength training. Or the right pair of hiking boots (boots, not shoes). Or pack. Or trekking poles. Or GPS (you know, for mom’s peace of mind…and also to help me with the frustration of not knowing how much more elevation I have to slog on). The right gear makes the right hike.

But sometimes, even the stars become misaligned and the hiking gods/goddesses turn their backs on you for a few moments…and all that perfect, precious expensive gear can’t save you. And so you stumble. You cough. You heave. You sweat (if you stop sweating, that’s even worse). You become nauseated. You’re going to be violently ill if you don’t take one more break…two steps forward, one step back…you’re fading fast.

Technical term? You’re bonking.

That was me for the first time this past weekend. It was a weird feeling. I was psyched! I was pumped! But physically, I was a hot mess.

I’ve been doing some other hikes and crossing some really cool western Maine mountains off the list with my daughter this season. She’s away at camp for 3 weeks and I’m trying to keep myself distracted from missing her terribly! So somehow, I ended up convincing my sister and her boyfriend it would be fun to come along with me for their first 4000 footer. I can honestly say that I never in a million years thought my crazy sister would ever (and I mean EVER) come along on one of my insane adventures—but she joined me for an epic 6288’ adventure up Mount Washington for the Observatory’s Seek the Peak event this year. Mind you, this was a day where it was humid by 530 in the morning and had a heat advisory in effect as it was 90 degrees in the shade by mid-day. That should have been warning sign number one. But I set a do-able pace for us and we started out strong. The first mile flew by. Then the second. We stopped and had a nice break at the Gem Pool. But after that, I really started to fade. I had snacks. I drank water. But I just kept fading. I’d done the Ammo trail before and knew I could physically handle the final, steep push to the Appalachian Mountain Club’s Lakes of the Clouds hut, and I knew myself well enough to know I’d be fine if I just kept going—but slowly. I had promised Mom I’d take care of my sister and bring her down safely, after all. We refilled our water bottles at the hut, enjoyed the view of nothing on this cloudy day, and pushed onward toward the summit. We took a few short breaks on the way as the clouds would occasionally clear to allow for a brief view of the observatory towers in the distance. When we finally made it, the clouds cleared and we took our time at the summit, getting a chance to explore the observatory and then enjoy the breathtaking views of the Northern Presidentials on the way down to connect to the Jewell Trail. My energy that had been missing for the first part of the day miraculously appeared. Perhaps it was the stunning vista that had opened up as the clouds disappeared. Perhaps it was the carbs and soda I consumed at the summit (I have a new appreciation for that touristy snack shack). Whatever it was, the descent of a mountain has always been my strength and I was glad I was able to happily rock hop back to the car despite the rising temps.

Sometimes we have to just keep pushing through all of the yuck to get to the top. That whole saying about the best views coming after the hardest climb is the absolute truth…unless you’re climbing a mountain with nothing but a big pile of stones for a summit, no view, and an uneventful wooded walk back to your car (sorry not sorry, Hale). But you also have to be safe and have an awareness of yourself. You may find yourself struggling with some complicating factor on any given day. It’s okay to make the call to turn around, get some rest, and stay safe. Don’t let self-doubt or defeat bring you down. Those mountains aren’t going anywhere—they’ll still be there for you to climb another day.

But if you are feeling down, I have found that nothing helps to heal a defeated mind, heart, and soul more than the love and support of amazing family and friends. I’m fortunate that I have some of the best supports around and I really do love sharing my adventures with you all. So thank you for being there (past, present, future)! I look forward to bringing you all along with the other incredible, amazing adventures yet to come!

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

•